Resiliency Through Choices

Couples Coaching

Written by: Steve Hartline

We are currently surviving through impossible times. Times that most of us would have not believed possible, until it happened. To make things worse, there was no way to fully prepare for these circumstances. And so, we live in resiliency grounded through our choices. Living through impossible times with the resources of our selves and our personal connections, one choice at a time.

The choice is not, “will we make it”, it is, “how will we make it?

Sometimes in our couple’s relationship we are faced with the same question. “How will we make it?” The internal answer or thought is often, “I can’t do this anymore”.

Can’t takes the possibility of ability away from our capacity. The more accurate statement is, “I won’t do this anymore”.  “I won’t” has a different feel to it. It is not about being able or not able, it is about choice.

That choice is how we respond to impossible circumstances in our relationship. It is also about how we come out intact and whole on the other side. Adding a simple, “yet” to the end of a sentence could be a start. “I can’t be with you…yet.” “I’m not ready to forgive you…yet.” “I’m not over this…yet.”

Being a victim of circumstance or controlling how you respond to circumstance is about choice. Your choice.

Choosing your response, the timing of your response, and how you will respond is within your circle of control. Deciding “can’t do vs. won’t do” is about you.

How will you not just survive, but thrive?

What choices have you not faced, yet?

What is the next choice that will put you into movement?

Resiliency presents as our choices are made, one at a time. Maybe, just maybe, impossible is not impossible when we build our resiliency grounded in one choice at a time.

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