In this moment how would you describe your relationship in 3 words? Are you allowing your relationship to just be what it is? Or are you creating an intentional relationship? Make 2021 the year that you design your relationship on purpose! Being intentional within your relationship is transformational to the core and helps you both define what is most important within your partnership.
There are many ways to be intentional, but first, you will have to have a discussion that explores what is working and not working in your relationship. Be honest with yourself and your partner. You must speak up, be vulnerable, and share openly with each other. You will be fooling yourself if you think things are best left unsaid because what is stuffed deep inside is eroding the relationship that you desire to have. So speak up, talk about it all, even when it is a hard conversation.
After you have this heart-to-heart discussion it will be time to come up with what do we want to create in 2021.
- It could be a focus word such as intimacy, teamwork, communication, honor, respect, unconditional love, etc. If you choose to have a focus word, please take the time to clearly define what the behaviors of that word are. How will you bring that word to life daily?
- It could be the development of a goal: we will commit to two date nights a month, free of technology where we focus on “us”… “our relationship”. This may also include discussion boundaries such as we will not talk about the kids during date night.
- It could be writing a mission or vision for your relationship: e. We keep love at the core of our relationship and all of our discussions. Post your mission/vision as reminders throughout your house on your mirrors, refrigerator, the home screen of your phone, or wherever you will see it on a regular basis.
Being intentional means taking action, measurable action! So whatever you do intentionally, make sure to design a measurable outcome. It is super easy to fall back into habitual relationship patterns so if you desire to change for your relationship, you need to design checkpoints and accountability. It will be imperative, to course-correct when the habitual patterns start to show up. Sometimes it is helpful to have a “funny” code word/phrase that brings a sense of humor to the pattern but also communicates that things are getting off track. “It is time for a snowball fight.” It is time to take action, even if it is baby steps toward the relationship you desire.
What will you create in 2021 on purpose?
Written by: Cella Hartline